School as usual today.
Monday blueszxz! ):

My eyes was already on the verge of closing..
But I forced it NOT to close and to STAY WIDE open.


Am impressed and inspired by how my cousin's family stood together as one during the period of 50days when grace was in ICU...
Even Grace's specialist(in other words,senior doctor), was inspired by the love and care for each other that he attended her funeral wake..
As what I heard from them,they said doctors seldom attend their patients funeral wake. Or maybe,they don't even attend them.
Many people attended and stayed till quite late also ok,heh.

Oh anyway,today during lesson,there was a funeral wake going on downstairs.
They were just so mean to even say those words ........... ):

Depressed..
Why is there even such thing called, "death"?
Have been feeling like this for more than a month..
I still can't get over my grandma's death.
And now,my cousin's.
Is a counselor even useful?
Or perhaps a phycologist?
It's hard for me to explain the feeling like.
Doubt anyone's feeling the same as I do.
Is the,troubled kind of feeling.
I just can't help it but to tear when I look at the picture taken with my whole family..
Amazing grace, amazing love..

Goodnight.

Things haven't been going on that well recently...

My Grandma passed away last December on the 20th.
I was the only one at home with her when she passed away.
Well,what actually happened was that she had a heart attack.
A quick one though.
Without any struggling or sufferings.
My Grandma was perfectly fine,with no illness or whatsoever.
In fact,she's quite a healthy woman! :B
Ah well,she has already been on earth for 77 years.
So I suppose God feels that she'd already done enough and deserve to be with him above in Heaven and have eternal rest. :)
Anyway,I'm sure Grandma's feeling happy up there :)




On Wednesday night at about 11plus,my house phone rang.
It was my aunty who called saying that my cousin,Grace had passed away.
This time round,it's another different story.
My cousin had been in ICU for 40,50plus days.
Initially,her condition was improving.
Partly because the doctor gave her the strongest and best medicine.
Throughout these 40-50 days,she fought her best.
We just told her to stay strong,pray to God for a miracle and stuffs like that.
It's somehow amazing how one could survive such a long time in ICU.
It's ICU ok,not any other kind of ordinary hospital wards.
Oh fyi,ICU stands for intensive care unit. Those very critical ones.
So anyway,for the last 5days of her in there,she was really suffering,A LOT.
Her blood and oxygen level were just very low.
Much lower than a normal person's.
The medicine started to not have any effect...
Doctor even said that she's starting to die..
Her heart beat was going at 147 per min.
That's when after you'd run a 200m sprint of something.
Imagine that rate of heart beat going on for 24hours!?!?!?
We can't take it for even 3mins. And Grace went through that for 24 hours or more.
My aunty(known as Nayi) came back from Germany on the last week when she knows that her condition was worsening.
Grace couldn't get to sleep because she was rather excited that Nayi came back from Germany.
They both are very close,they even have sleepovers at each other places whenever Nayi's in town.
Grace not only fought of herself but also for us.
Then on Wednesday night, Nayi & her group of friends were praying over her.
One of her friend felt that Grace is holding on unto something that can't bear to let go...
It's her family who's always telling her to be strong and fight her best.
So,her mum & dad talked to her,
told her that since she's suffering so much, go tell God what she wants and that her family members will always support her in all her decisions that she makes.
And after that,she nodded her head.
So immediately after that ,she closed her eyes ,talked to God.
Grace's heart beat started to drop tremendously.
Like from 147 to 80 to 60 and slowly to 0 ...
Her family members still did not know that she had passed away.
They thought that she felt asleep or something.
Until the Doctor went into the room and pronounced her dead.



Grace actually typed out three veeeeeeeeeeery long email about her condition and stuffs before she passed away.
It's very touching,sigh..


Words just couldn't express how we felt.
It's just,a huge devastation that we actually lost her.
But on the other hand,we're happy that God healed her completely to bring her home with him.
Rest in peace my dear cousieeeeeee!! :)
We'll miss youuuuuuuuuuu !
Lastly,teach all of us to be strong alright. :)


I'm gonna take a picture of SMILEY & Zoobert!
Smiley's Grace's more than 10years of soft toy.
And,Zoobert's Avelyn's soft toy. :)



Going for dinner soon.
Will try to update more often..

I've got no moood to blog recently.
Not no mood,but more on lazy,heh.
So anyway,my cousin's getting better but still,not as good as last time,aww. );
Went church yesterday's morning thn lunch after that.
Reached home at about 3plus.
Onlined thn went to my father's side grandmother's house.
Was really boreeeeeeed okay! );<
I don't like my father's side cousin.
They're very,anti-social lorrrrr. Never mind.
Don't wish to socialise with them either. HAHA. :x

First day of school ,things didn't really went on smoothly.
Took MRT home at around 3plus.
Had no lunch at home,NOT EVEN INSTANT NOODLES,so at around 5plus I went to the nearest Mini mart to get cup noodles.
Reached home,after I opened the packet,I realised that I'd bought the wrong one._.
I didn't buy the maggi mee noodles,instead I bought the white transparent long noodles which totally sucked ok!!!
So,had a few scoops of it and threw the whole thing away.
Anyway,I had one whole packet of Nata de coco just now since I got nothing else to consume. LOL.



Having minor gastric pains now. :/

Today's Friday,also the last day of school holiday?
This March holidays is just plain boring okay!
Except for Wednesday,I guess?
Cause,I practically stayed at home the whole day except for going out for lunch,dinner,visit my cousin..


So anyway,we went Sentosa on Wednesday.
The sun was not very hot,but yet I wonder why am I still getting sunburned.. :S
Met all of them at Serangoon at about 1030.
Apparently,I was the last person to arrive.
Think they all waited for me for quite long...
Hehe,thanks & sorry huh. (:

So,the people who went .........



From the top left,Nova, Samuel, Jerome, Jasmin, Gerrad, Gerald, Gina,
Ernest, Ryan, Me, Baby, Kenneth. (;

Had our lunch at about 3plus,thn headed back to Vivo.
Went to the National geographic shop which totally smells of Jelly beans,haha.
They paid $1 to have a chance to enter a huge big container where it's freezing cold.
With a temperature of below 0 Degree Celsius.
But of course,only go inside for 30seconds though.
Otherwise,will be frozen lor. Haha,imagine a frozen human being.
Aw,haha.

Went Meridian,they played dota.
While I went to look for Melissa & Rowena.
Chit-chatted here and there.
Went back to the lan shop while Melissa&Rowena had to go back to their church.
Left that place at about 8.
Took a train back home.



And oh,after 3weeks-one month...................
My eye has finally un-swell.
LOL.
My mum says it's infection because of my contact lens.
Ah well,I'm lazy to change the solution,as always.
So,that's why my right eye got infected.
Also,I got my new pair of glasses which cost $200plus?!!?!
But anyway,not my money,heh.
I still don't understand why I went to choose such an expensive pair of glasses when I know that I wouldn't wear it everyday cause I would rather wear my contact lenses..
But anyway,I look like a totally smartyass alright. HAHA! 8)
Not much difference between my old pair of glasses and this new pair of glasses though.
Cause it's pretty much of the same color.


I'm gonna bathe after this and go to the hospital to visit my cousin.
She's critically-ill,in ICU okay..
Doctor says she's dying ............):
But anyway,I believe in miracles.
Get well soon,Gracieeeeeeeee!! :)


P/s: School in 3 days time!! :) / :(

Happy 13th months,Baby! :)


I pretty much stayed at home for the whole of today alright.
Call me a good girl. :)
But of course,I kept complaining and whining,tsk.
Around afternoon time,my mum came home from some church meeting.
So,I asked her if she could bake and told her that cause I'm bored and I need to find things to do to occupy myself.
Upon seeing my pathetic looking face,she agreed to it!! Hehe. :B
Baked cheese cake.


Anyway,I'm going offline soon. -.-
So bored here.
Ciao.

Have been playing Mafia wars on facebook these days instead of Pet society already,haha.
Anyway anyway,I started playing it last week or so and I'm already level 18 for Mafia wars okk! Hehe. (:


So,as usual,mood swings these days.
Yesterday's one was horrible.
Today was rather,fine I can say? Doubt I had mood swing today? Heh.

School ended at 1 today.
Had geography test which I sort of studied hard for it but ended up forgetting many things?
Urghhhhhhh. >:
Chinese lesson was like free period? Cause the teacher said,last day of the term,I don't want to stress you all blahblah. (She said that in Chinese though)

After school,went 809. Like usual slacking place after school,lol.
Went mall,slacked. Was very bored okay. Heh.


Baby,Jerome & Nova went kovan for Pool while the rest and I went home.
Went Compass point Popular to buy some stuffs before going home btw.

Just came home from station of the cross with Seraphina.


Btw,got back all my results today.
Basically I got 60 and above for all my subjects except for English which I only scored a bloody pathetic 52 ?!?!?! -________-
And,I got a "VR" for my art. Tsk.


Wondering how my day would pass tmr,goodbye:)

So,Happy 15th Birthday to You,darling! :)

Left house only in the afternoon at about 12.
Headed to Meridian. Played lan for awhile.
Thn accompanied baby to have his lunch while the rest continued playing dota or whatsoever.
Went to play pool after that.
Played pool with baby. I'm starting to be a 'professional' at it ok!! Hehe.
The rest joined us after their gaming.
So they opened 2tables,but I dint play luh. The air condition there is very cold ok!

Wanted to take a cab down to Arab street,but,there was no cab in sight.
Totally pathetic -_________-
So walked out to the main road there and took a bus down.
Went Shisha till about 8plus.
Had dinner there as well.
The food totally sucked ok~
Wasted bloody $15 on a plate of Mushroom chicken chop which tasted horrible.
I actually ordered that because of the Mushroom ok! But ended up with only one to two pieces of mushroom,wtf.

Took a cab back to Hougang plaza. They played dota.
Reached home at 10plus.
So basically spent the day with baby, Linjun, Kenneth, Nova, Ernest, Jasmin, Gerrad, Jerome, Joel.


Slept at around midnight,woke up at 8 the next morning for church.
Went for lunch at Kovan with Parents & Cousins.
Visited my cousin at the hospital at night.
Reached home pretty late and that explains why I'm feeling so sleepy now. :/







Gonna take my bath first,goodbyeeeee!

I'll try my best not to say anything
that would make you feel not right...?
Don't know what's wrong with me these
days either.
Call me MSG if you want.. ;/

OH,before I start,please ignore this post?
I'm posting out how I feel. Tyvm (:



Having terrible mood swings every now and then.
Especially in school.
And whenever I'm at home,I'll feel.....lifeless.
Whenever I'm at home,I feel like going to school.
But whenever I'm in school,I just don't feel like listening to the lessons.
Oh well,no choice after all eh.
I always have a feeling...bad feeling I guess. When I'm at home.
Just after something happened around end of last year?
Especially when I'm alone at home.
I'm very very certain that no one else would feel that same as I am.
The fear of dark,
The fear of death,
The fear of disobedience,
The fear of sleeping,going to bed at night,
The fear of many things.
It's difficult to think positively cause I'd recently just sort of encountered it?
Don't know why but it's difficult for me to listen to whatever people around me say or rather,ask me to do.
Shall just try to move on with whatever things I always do in the past?
Btw,don't worry,I'll be fine soon.
Just a matter of time. (:

Baby,
I know,you may think that my attitude has changed,a lot.
But please,bear with it alright.
Am really sorry for those tantrums or whatever you call them.
I'm trying my best to change and not to have mood swings?
You too must do your part also la k. Heh.
6more days. (:

Another boring weekend.
Yesterday & today were indeed boring.
Left house at 4 for catechism class.
Made all of my friends wait for me. Hehe.
And they were very kind okay!!
Cause they kinda negotiated with our catechist that if they don't go in by 4.15,they'll have to treat our catechist dinner.
Heheh.
But still,they waited for me! Aww!
Sorry & thanks eh! Haha.
Combined classes again.
This time round,catechism class isn't that boring.
No idea why as well. Haha.
Walked back home with Seraphina.
Waited for mum & dad to get ready thn headed for dinner.
Visited my cousin at SGH after dinner.
Dad drove Avelyn home at around 10plus.


So this morning,woke up at 8am.
As usual,got ready and went to church.
Lunch and came home.


Onlined till now.
Looking forward to school tmr for some reasons,heh.
Goodbye(:

Mind now is jumbled up with many things.
I want to go to schoool NOWWWW.